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Post by flowingstar on Jan 22, 2007 15:06:23 GMT -5
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was tied to the 1st monkey. Q: Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.
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Post by willowtail on Feb 4, 2007 17:09:45 GMT -5
LOL!
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Post by flowingstar on Feb 6, 2007 18:43:27 GMT -5
He he, my mama told that to me!
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Post by willowtail on Feb 7, 2007 17:50:57 GMT -5
Here's one! A little boy goes to kindergarten. His teacher asks him to recite the first 20 letters of th alpabet. He can't. The teacher tells him to go and ask his family. He gets home. First he ask's his father what the first 5 letters are. he is on the phone. He says: Not now, I'm busy. Then he asks his mother the next 5. She is cooking dinner. She says, Put pikle in the powder, and the pasta in the pan. Then he asks his sister the next five. She is on the phone. She says: Get away from me you twerp! Then he ask's his brother who is in a batman costume dancing on his bed. He says: Bota-Bota-batman! So he goes to school. His teacher asks him to recite them. He says, "Not now, I'm busy." Teacher: How do you expect to get to grage one witht this attatuide? Boy: "Putting the pickle in he powder and the pasta in the pan." Teacher: Gets mand. Boy: "Get away twerp!" Teacher: "Who do you think you are?" Boy: Bota-Bota-batman!
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Post by silentstar on Feb 8, 2007 4:35:06 GMT -5
heres one
boy: miss! can i go to the loo! teacher: first recite the alphabet. boy: *says the alphabet but misses out the p* teacher: wheres the p? boy: running down my trouserleg m'am
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Post by flowingstar on Feb 9, 2007 14:23:38 GMT -5
Eew!!!
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Post by willowtail on Feb 9, 2007 15:13:59 GMT -5
Yeah I heard that one too but it was different. My friend made up crazy ones. We were in the bathroom and I asked her if I could go into the stall she was in when all the other girls were stealing them. So, I said, "Can I have the stal your in?" Then, she said, eww, you said urine!" She is one wacky person. Like the friend that makes you shoot milk ouit of your nose. She is crazy, but funny and nice. She brought a stuffed otter in her backpack today. I told ya, crrraty!
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Post by silentstar on Feb 11, 2007 7:11:15 GMT -5
lol! have u heard of dane cook? the comedian? heres a snippit of one of HIS FUNNIEST ONES! i laughed my head off! but um... i am gonna do in KH version! WARNING:SPOILERS! EVERYBODY READ THIS IS HILAROUS!
cast:
axel:dane cook roxas: brrrr sora: megatron kiari: optimous prime
axel: i am talking about kids i wanna have like 19 kids. namng them yeah naming them thats gonna be fun! gonna be like a holiday game. I GOT IT! I dont care boy or girl the first one is gonna be called brrrr. *pretends they are there*. time for bed brrr roxas: *stands there* axel: I SAID TIME FOR BE RRR! TIME FOR BED! roxas: doesnt move axel: TYPICAL RRR! NO COOKIES! roxas: picks up cookie axel:RRRRRRR! I SAID NO COOKIES! i am gonna name a bunch of my kids after my favorite cartoon. i am gonna name a bunch of my kids after transformers. *pretends* come here optimous prime. come sit next to megatron. we are gonna have a little chit-chat now. I AM THE ULTRA COMANDERBOT AND THIS (swearing) RRR I SAID NO COOKIES! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! wouldnt it be really fun to have a bunch of kids and just abandon them somewhere? what are these guys talking about anyway?
AND ANOTHER!
cast: axel: dane cook hayner: lead of the gang sora: creepy guy
axel: so as soon as this creepy guy comes into the washroom the lead is like hey guys wanna get the (swear) out of the washroom? lets go hide behind the vending machine! SOMEBODY MOVE THE VENDING MACHINE! MOVE THE MACHINE SO I CAN (SWEAR) HIDE! now the creepy guy spots you cos you're getting some stuff out'a the vending machine and he is like "hi" and you are like "peanuts jelly stick that in your mouth now and enjoy that" and then the next day he comes into work with a sawed-off shot gun and he is like stomping down and he finally gets to my office and he is like *gasp* thanks for the candy!
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Post by willowtail on Feb 11, 2007 13:18:32 GMT -5
LOL! Whatch'a doing? Eating chocolate Where 'da get it? My doggie dropped it
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Post by silentstar on Feb 13, 2007 11:36:49 GMT -5
LOL! WARNING: SWEARING! i know its in the rules not to but it dont work without it!
heres another but its not Dane Cook CAST leon: teacher sora:eric tifa: wendy donald: Clyde
Tifa: hey look at eric the fatty. sora: hey! im not fat I just havent grown into my body yet! Tifa: whateva u say... Sora: silly b**ch! leon: ERIC! u call wendy a b**ch one more time and you with be going to the principles office! sora: b**ch leon: THATS IT!
another:
leon: now class lets start of with some simple math promblems. what is 2x5?......come on class dont be shy give it your best shot. clyde: is it 12? leon: ok now lets try and get an answer from someone who is not completely retarded! tifa: oo! i think i know the answer sora: blah blah blah blah blah! f***king jew leon: ERIC! did you just say the F word?! sora: jew? tifa: no he is talking about f**k you f***king fatty! leon: WENDY! sora: f**k leon: ERIC! sora: it doesnt hurt anyone1 its just a word. watch... f**kity f**k f**k! leon: how would you like to see the school counciler? sora: how would you like to suck my b***s?(it doesnt feel right putting that in full) leon: WHAT DID YOU SAY!? sora: oh im sorry let my say it again *gets microphone* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY B***S? everyone excapt eric: *gasp* roxas: holy sh*t dude!
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Post by silentstar on Feb 13, 2007 11:38:55 GMT -5
heres one more!
demnyx: let me borrow that top... lemme borrow that top... lemme borrow that top. i have already been to the mall... i have already been to the mall... i have already been to the mall... AND IT SUCKS! i have already been to heaven...i have already been to heaven...i have already been to heaven... and after 5 minutes i was like lets go!
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Post by flowingstar on Feb 14, 2007 15:48:05 GMT -5
OH MY
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Post by willowtail on Feb 15, 2007 12:25:15 GMT -5
A dumb girl goes to a very weathy neiborhood. She comes upoun a house. She rings the doorbell. A man comes to the door with his wife. "Hi, I'm looking for work. Can I do anthing around here?" She asks. The man says, "Yes, you can paint my porch. How much will you fo it for?" Girl: "Oh, $15." Man: "Okay!" Girl: Leaves. "Does she know that it goes all around the house?" The wife asks the husband. Man: "She was standing on it, she should know." 5 minutes later she comes back with paint-stained clothing saying she is done. "Wow, you are done already!" Excaims the man. The girl nods. Girl: "By the way, that isn't a Porch, it's a ferrari. A Ferrari is a REEEALLY expensive sports car, and she thought a Porch is a PORSH another kind of car.
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Post by silentstar on Feb 16, 2007 8:19:43 GMT -5
LOL! ((I KNOW!!))
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Post by willowtail on Feb 16, 2007 9:25:14 GMT -5
Yeh I like that one............ :-)
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